1/26/2004 07:46:00 PM
AND CAPTAIN JACK WILL GET YOU HIGH TONIGHT............
The Texas Rangers have named Alex Rodriguez their team captain. This is similar to being named as Ambassador to Luxembourg. Being named a captain in baseball is meaningless. There is no coin toss to yell heads or tails. There are no penalties that have to be explained. And there is no colection money to be distributed, so what is the function of a captain in baseaball? Can he officated weddings? Does he cut ribbons at supermarket opennings? Maybe A-Rod can get a sport coat like Michael Jackson with some dopey crest on it. Or maybe some medals like the late Toast Master General Georgie Jessel.